Seven years in primary school,
Four in secondary and four in tertiary education.
I bled for a future they said I could have
Dreams stacked high on my little
Shoulders,
But no one tells you that hope has sharp teeth.
And now?
A noose by my own hands,
Tied with the same rope they used
to hang their expectations.

My parents -
Eyes once bright with sacrifice
Now dimmed by years of waiting.
They spent millions,
Only for me to sit on a couch of rejections.
A certificate folded in silence,
While their prayers rot unanswered.

He said he loved me
Whispered forever against my skin
Said he'd stay
Said he'd fight
But then the test turned two lines
And he forgot all his vows,
Promises vanished like smoke,
And so did he.
My mom cries in corners she used to sing
Dad's silence is louder than fists
And me?
I've fallen apart in the mirror,
Shattered into motherhood and mourning.
So tonight
I drink the poison that speaks in hushes
Because death, at least, doesn't lie.

But before the bottle empties.
Before the rope tightens.
A whisper slips in
"You're not your scars"
Not the grades
Not the man who ran
Not the silence in your father's eyes

You are the breath still in your lungs
You are the fight they didn't expect you to keep
You are the poems that someone needs to read
To know they aren't alone.

Early in the morning, along with the dark shadows of Msangu trees
She walks;
Bumping shoulders with tall grass, dew softly smiling, kissing her feet
Down to Lunyina,
Her day begins.

As the sun rises, so does dust along the Buyu road
From girls and boys, uniforms ironed
Edges as sharp as a razor
Just like Dotolo of Ekwendeni
She walks back home watching and admiring
Remembering her school days when she used to run and laugh
Running to school in fear of punishment from her teacher Mr. Kasimba.

From afar her mother's voice echoes
"Imwe anyina ka kudambo mpaka Sono mwana winu mwate ninja alelenge"
She rushes home, a big basin full of clothes
Balancing on her head.

With a child on her bonny back, she does all the house chores
She is now the house maid
Cleaning, cooking, running errands
Are now her best friends.

For she is now a mother at 14
A curse to the family
A shame to her mother
Her father avoids her like a plague
For she is a young mother
With no hope of going back to school.